A Bad Day at Work

Work is crushing right now. We're all really busy and the pace isn't letting up anytime soon. In the bigger picture that's a good thing. We're gainfully employed. No complaints there. Still, the pressure of staying on top of things can wear on you a bit and when you tack on a really lousy commute you've got a classic recipe for bad mood on your hands.

That was me tonight.

Then a funny thing happened when I got home. I was in mid-rant about whatever the hell it was I was mad about (for no good reason) when I tossed my keys on the table and noticed them catching the light pouring into my house from the setting sun. Then I saw my camera.

Without thinking, I grabbed the camera and started shooting. I wasn't trying to work my way out of my bad mood or anything; I just saw the light and went to work. Within about two minutes the long day and the screwed up traffic were about a thousand years behind me.

AND I got some pretty cool shots.

That, my friends, is why I need creativity in my life.

A Message from Harlan Ellison on Artist Compensation

Recognizing the irony that I am, in fact, using this particular interview for free, I can only argue that I fall just short of being a hypocrite by virtue of the fact that I have never made a penny from this blog.

In any event, I think this is an important message not only for writers but for all artists who are swept up in the hyper-socialist tide of the Internet Age. The horse is well out of the barn on this one but maybe there's hope that a strong arm and a long enough lasso might get it back.

Ah, who am I kidding?

Save It

Call it contemplations on the multitude of distractions I indulge my wary mind in on any given day.

What am I talking about? Why 'wary mind'?

The Backstory
The main ingredient in my creative process is the need to communicate something. While this need is very strong it is also somewhat lazy. Like lightning, it seeks the path of least resistance.

This "laziness" doesn't exist in a vacuum. It has a root cause and, put simply, I believe that cause to be fear and hesitation. It's nothing you haven't heard before: fear of judgment, fear of not making anything very good and all that stuff that turns a blank page into a mirror aimed at all your inadequacies and past failures. Hence, the wary mind.

I'm No Psychologist, But...
These fears cause me to seek easier alternatives: the distractions I mentioned earlier. Pacification. Things like email, video games, message boards, etc. When I busy myself with these things, I don't have to deal directly with the creative compulsion and all the ensuing angst over whether it's even worth attending to. It's avoidance.

Saving It
Today I started a little experiment. Slowly but steadily, I have begun to withdraw these distractions from the scenery. It's really weird, too, because I've already begun to see that I've actually become a little dependent on this stuff. Like, instead of rolling up my sleeves and setting to one task I sort of flit around and scatter little bits of creativity here and there throughout the day: a blog comment, a message board post, maybe some emails to friends with a few attempts at cleverness. Not that any of that stuff is bad, but when projects I actually really want to do are left half finished I have to wonder if I'm sort of pissing away my resources.

So, the experiment begins. My hypothesis is that once the distractions are reduced or eliminated, I might start to remember what it was like to spend a few hours with a handful of pens and a sketchpad, or writing, or playing an instrument and so on. I might make some serious strides with regard to productive creativity. We'll see how it goes.

My question to you is do you have any experience with this and what has it been?

And while we're on the subject of gifts...

...here's one to the world.

How Far You've Come

Do you remember trying to learn how to tie your shoes? The first day of school? When long division was a big deal? Learning how to drive? Your first job? Leaving home for the first time?

How far you've come in your life is something worth considering. When you think back to times like the ones up in that first paragraph and compare who you were then to who you are now, what does that say to you? How many of the things that used to scare the hell out of you are now easy? How many situations were you in that you never thought you'd make it out of alive, let alone unscathed? How does that time compare to where you are now?

I think it's valuable to think about this mountain of experiences and about how we evolve over time. It should tell us something about our ability to take on new things. It should be a source of pride. You've survived this long. Some of that is blind luck but I'm willing to bet a lot of it isn't. And even if you aren't exactly where you want to be I think a lot of good can come from giving yourself credit for getting this far.

Take it a step farther and look at this in people you know. Think about their experiences, where they came from and what they know. What they've survived. The forces that shaped them. Not just the dramatic events but the day-to-day existence that forms a person. I find this utterly awe-inspiring.

I think taking the time to think about this once in a while might make you feel better about facing challenges and trying new things. You can learn a lot about courage and perseverance just by taking a look at your own life and from the lives of those around you.

Photo by yours truly and taken in Duran, New Mexico.

Gifts to Me (A Partial List)

Well, another year is in the can. I wanted to take the opportunity to reflect on a few of the things I'm grateful for:

1. My wife (thanks for putting the sugar in my coffee all these years)
2. My family
3. My friends in the animal kingdom
4. My friends in the human kingdom
5. My friends in the "other" category
6. Music
7. Pretty much all kinds of Art
8. Halloween
9. Horror movies, books, comics and, well, everything...
   
10. The lessons along the way, both hard and easy
11. Presence
12. Clarity
13. The compulsion to make/see/experience/be something
14. Digital cameras
15. Le Terrible
16. Befriending the motorcycle
17. Travels
18. The Desert
19. Mystery
20. Astronomy
21. Potty humor
22. Fireplaces
23. Misanthropic tirades
24. Killer riffs
25. Bass amplification
26. Fender Precision Elite II
27. Second chances
28. Moments of synchronized creative emergency
29. Dumb fucking jokes
30. Fear as opportunity
31. The Ocean
32. Thunderstorms
33. The world as seen from airplanes
34. Serendipity
35. Jeopardy!
36. Letting the world into you, for better or worse
37. Another year

Thank you.